TOP

BDSM, is it all that it seems?

Many who think of BDSM, are immediately transported to the sinister scene of melted candles in a dungeon alongside whips, chains, blindfolds and the victim of pleasure.

They are not wrong you know.

However, such a crude stereotype affords little justice to the science behind BDSM and why it remains to be practiced in civilized society.

To truly understand BDSM, we must first break down the acronym. We will realize that each letter stands for a unique community, quite like LGBTQ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual and queer) and although they collectively form the acronym, each part represents something quite different.

In the field of psychology, BDSM is considered a kind of paraphilia, which is an abnormal sexual attraction, just like fetishes. BDSM is an interest in something still widely frowned upon by the conservatives.

Since a woman could marry the Eiffel Tower in 2007, we should seriously consider holding back our judgment on BDSM enthusiasts.

 

They call it Bond…Bond-age

Bondage refers to the act of restriction. This process could be achieved either by the self or with a partner.

There is a variety of bondage styles, but they generally limit breathing and/or movement, speech and sight.

Some common tools for the bondage seeker include handcuffs, hoods, gasmasks, catsuits, gloves, mouth gags and nylon ropes. Seems like the inventory of a postapocalyptic doctor but the only thing these ‘’doctors’’ will be treating is their insatiable appetite for pleasure.

 

In Japan, outlandish clothing called Zentai, have recently snagged media attention. Zentai suits are usually made from spandex/lycra material and encase the body of the wearer from head to toe. These whacky suits have been experimented by the bondage community, who often layer the fabrics for breathing resistance and the satisfaction of total enclosure.

The Daily Beast, an online news site, interviewed Darryl, a Zentai wearer who described the sensation as an all-around hug.

Bondage has become more socially acceptable in modern times, perhaps for the therapeutic effects that it offers, sealing practitioners away from the bustling world through sensual suppression.

With a quick search on the internet, one can easily access tutorials on bondage techniques such as hogtying (binding a victim with arms behind his/her back, resembling a poached hog) and gagging (silencing a victim using a mouth gag), just like watching a cooking demo for lasagna.

Bondage could be defined as the ‘’least extreme’’ form of BDSM as it does not require an implicit accomplice and usually causes less harm to the human body when compared to the ‘’D, S and M’’, as we shall see.

 

Spoil the child, spare the rod

‘’D’’ stands for Discipline. Members of this faction may belong to either the Sadism and/or Masochism school of training. We will examine the differences between the two in a bit, as they stand for the subsequent ‘’S’’ and ‘’M’’.

Remember those school days when disobedient pupils were punished by headmasters/headmistresses and ‘’persuaded’’ to reform? Picture a sexualized version of those distasteful scenarios and you get the rough idea of the ‘’D’’ in BDSM.

Some adults derive pleasure from being punished and through the act of submission. Other adults however, enjoy the power play of being the abuser and exerting authority upon their victims.

In BDSM lingo, the ones receiving the ‘’treatment’’ are usually known as slaves or subs while a dominatrix (dom) or master oversees the obedience of their victim. A cheeky few prefer alternating roles from time to time and are known as switches.

 

BDSM communities have voiced their disapproval on movies such as Fifty shades of grey

In the film, a young female student is charmed by a rich businessman, Christian Grey, who has a hidden knack for BDSM intrigues.

Initially shocked and disagreeable to the unusual pastimes of Christian Grey, the protagonist eventually relents. However, in storybook fashion, Christian Grey decides to give up his hobby all for the sake of the blossoming romantic affair.

BDSM has been misinterpreted as either the method of serial killers who engage in kinky murder rituals or the outward symptoms of madness.

In truth, BDSM is separable from antisocial behavior. Your school teacher, supervisor, friendly supermarket cashier or celebrity idol could very well be a ‘’disciplined slave’’ and you would be none the wiser.

To enthusiasts, there is as much need for ‘’giving up’’ BDSM as one giving up golf or fishing. It is a lifestyle that should not be confused with a treatable condition as long as involved parties observe safety precautions. According to a community member on Quora, trust and respect between partners are important 99% of the time, just like any healthy mainstream relationship.

 

Sadism

In 16th century France, there was a nobleman and erotic writer who was known as the marquis of Sade. The eccentric man had no morals when it came down to sexual gratification. He once picked up a begging widow from the street after offering her a job opportunity as a house keeper. Upon arrival at the household, the poor woman was stripped by the marquis, whipped and tortured for his personal amusement, fortunately, the woman managed an escape through a window and lived to tell the tale.

The term sadism in BDSM, was coined after the promiscuous marquis and refers to sexual pleasure received through the humiliation and torture of others.

In modern times, sadism may be identified through other names such as Femdom (female domination) and Sissification (forcing a man into crossdressing and feminine behaviours).

Although torture and shame are major ingredients of sadism, the sessions are mutually coordinated and when things get out of hand, parties usually rely upon safe words (words planned before the session) applied as ‘’emergency handbrakes’’ in a dangerous situation.

It is all elaborate roleplaying!

As a matter of fact, it is vital for participants of sadism to build chemistry and trustworthiness with their partners right before a session. High risk sessions are ill-advised with total strangers!

 

Masochism

The final letter, ‘’M’’ in the acronym refers to Masochism. The main difference between masochism and sadism is that the former focuses on the self and is independently executed.

Sadism and masochism are two sides of the same coin, discipline. It is common for sadists to try out masochistic practices or even alternate roles.

In the Christian tradition, there has been the questionable practice of corporal mortification, how radical devotees hurt their own bodies for the sake of spiritual purification.

In the movie The Da Vinci Code, the albino monk Silas is seen punishing himself by tightening a rough fabric into his thigh. Religious folks in the Philippines flog themselves with whips as they carry out an annual holy procession.

Although religious self-torture is innocent by default, the masochistic techniques applied to BDSM are not very different.

It is all about the whipping, tightening and hitting until the pain takes on a wholly different meaning.

Psychologist Roy Baumeister mentioned in his book titled ‘’Masochism and the Self’’, that the earliest record of flogging as a type pornography, was traced as far back as 1718. We have come a long way.

 

The Verdict

BDSM is a sequel to the act of sexual reproduction and BDSM enthusiasts should not be stoned by the masses. The consensual nature of the activities should grant some legitimacy.

One psychological research in 2013 states that people who engage in BDSM activities are more extraverted, less neurotic and more conscientious than non-practitioners simply because they do not face the stress of holding back from their desires!

Think about it, life is all about being comfortable in your own skin, doing the things you love and not harming (not viciously at least!) anyone in the process!

However, if you wish to tune in to something more stimulating on the nerves, hop on over to Premise TV, the online video platform where you will discover cool stuff like a sex doll installed with free will and a cursed livestream network.

Until next time, stay true to yourself and carry on with whatever you do, the whole world is after all, a zoo!

Author: Laurenzo Jude

Premise TV is an interactive online platform that streams edgy films to genre-driven audiences and allows filmmakers to raise funds and builds a fanbase from it.

Post a Comment

Bitnami