LGBTQ Misunderstood [Part 3]
In the final part of the series, we will look at some of the most outrageous misunderstandings regarding the LGBTQ community. Over the years, there have been multiple wrong beliefs on what members do.
Contrary to widespread belief, it is not always about fun and sexual chaos. It is the humble identity of a person, a part of what they stand for.
The following collection of common mistruths are based on the combined experiences and feedback of LGBTQ members online and friends of the author.
When looked at in detail, it seems ridiculous and even funny how heterosexual or cisgender (people who are born with the identity matching their biological gender) people have come up with such a load of myths.
The LGBTQ Community is united
Yes, they have a rainbow flag and yes, they rally for campaigns and celebrate events together with great synergy but at its root, the LGBTQ members are human, like everybody else.
It is unwise to assume that any two random members of the LGBTQ community would hug and become instant friends when they meet.
Prejudices against race, religion and beliefs, still exist within the LGBTQ community.
Love between LGBTQ members may blossom without the drama. (Credits: Brett Sayles pexels.com)
There is the incriminating notion that LGBTQ members are always sexually promiscuous.
This is untrue and may have been a result of the popular gay bar scenes portrayed by the media and the popular advertising of pick-up applications like the Grindr application targeting gay and bisexual men.
This is also absurd, considering how some LGBTQ members are in fact, religious people who believe in the sacred nature of a committed sexual relationship.
To make matters worse, for the longest time, there has been unequal treatment for the LGBTQ community about marriage.
Many nations do not authenticate formal unions and so, this gives the misleading illusion that LGBTQ members are unsettled and always looking for the next hookup.
Gay men are usually portrayed as overly effeminate, immaculately groomed and dressed in flamboyant colours while homosexual women are displayed with the buzz haircut, piercings, tattoos and a badass attitude. These of course, are nothing but stereotypes.
LGBTQ members do not possess a ‘’standard’’ look. (Credits: rawpixel.com)
LGBTQ people appear in any shape or size. There are elderly folks, handicapped, young and old members of the community who can go about with their daily affairs without setting off alarms that they are of a certain orientation. Hey, guess what? that is exactly how straight people are!
“It is a Choice”
This is perhaps one of the most insensitive things to say to someone from the LGBTQ community.
As covered in a previous article, being homosexual is linked to certain gene varieties in a person along with environmental factors such as the marriage health of their parents and the number of siblings one has.
With that being said, LGBTQ members develop their orientation just as heterosexual people develop theirs, there is no cherry-picking involved!
Bisexual people are greedy or fickle-minded
Bisexual people do not hoard lovers because they are attracted to both genders. In fact, being attracted to the same gender for the moment does not signify that they will ‘’jump ship’’ for the other team once they wish to marry and start a family.
The usual practices of fidelity apply to bisexual people as heterosexual couples. Some people cheat, and some do not, being drawn to both genders does not change anything.
Playboys and playgirls exist no matter, hate the player, not the game.
There is a group of people who identify themselves as pansexual, meaning that they love someone else for their personality and what they stand for, regardless of gender.
Having more options does not suggest greed.
Transgendered people are not manufactured
Here lie two myths about the transgendered community: Firstly, they are not surgical addicts who necessary require medical procedures and secondly, they are not obliged to date trans or gay people only.
For many transgendered people, the coming out process is the bigger issue at hand.
Many are disowned and ignored by family members and relatives or even friends, the moment they come clean about their orientation.
Therefore, aside from medical surgeries, there are other steps that transgendered people take, for example, hormone pills, crossdressing and deep discussions and hopeful acceptances from loved ones.
Not every trans person has been under the knife, being trans is an identity that happens in numerous stages. Some people might opt for gender reassignment surgery and some would not for many reasons and that is perfectly okay.
Additionally, trans people may date anyone they wish. Some are straight, others are gay or bisexual. Therefore, there are stories of how some men have transformed into female and went on to date lesbian women.
Trans men and women were not transformed just so they could date other trans people…they were not ‘’manufactured’’ to fulfill a fetish, they wish to live normal lives just like everyone else.
Being transgendered just means that one is born with the biological body that does not agree with the mental identity and every passing day seems like a tiring stage play.
Coming out is not the professing love
Even if you received a mug like this, you cannot be sure. (Credits: pixabay.com)
When a dear friend of the same gender as yourself decides to reveal their LGBTQ tendencies, remember, it is not about you.
Take the time to understand just how precious the moment is. There were probably weeks, month, or years of build-up before the dreaded day.
Yes, there is great confidence shared between you that allows your friend to bare it all, but this does not in any way suggests that he/she has the hots for you!
LGBTQ people do not pounce and strike anyone who moves simply because of their gender fit.
That is as foolish as claiming that a heterosexual man and woman would fall in love regardless of the circumstances.
Gay people are not clones
“Pretty sure your LGBTQ friend did not come from one of these.” (Credits: pixabay.com)
You never hear of people saying how all straight people are the same or how looking at one cisgender person reminds you of every one of “their kind”.
The same thing applies to members of the LGBTQ community.
A homosexual person is not a caricature meant to serve as some kind of master copy for the mimicry of other homosexual people. There is no such sexual communism.
Take a look at LGBTQ celebrities Wentworth Miller, Ellen Degeneres, RuPaul and Candis Cayne, you will see that their personalities are like chalk and eggplant.
Finally, there is the sensitive topic of coming out. Some people accept their identities from a very young age and are fearless in informing the world know what they stand for, while others wait for the opportune moment until they can no longer hold their secrets in, leading to the big reveal.
There is no fixed age, it is not an army conscription.
Many people however, think that coming out should occur during the pubescent/adolescence years, when individuals begin to really discover themselves through experimentation. Nah.
LGBTQ members could be eight, eighteen or eighty before they let the nosy world know of their true orientation.
The most famous “oldie” who came out from the closet during recent times was singer Barry Manilow, at the grand age of 73, confirming decades of media speculation.
There is no deadline for LGBTQ folks for their coming out and some may choose never to reveal their orientation.
What heterosexual people should not do however, is to pressure a suspected LGBTQ person to “come clean”, now, that would be downright awful and infinitely embarrassing for all involved parties regardless of the answer!
We hope that you have found the articles insightful on the world of the LGBTQ community! At Premise TV, we are inspired by topics that require more coverage. We are an interactive online platform that produces videos for the thinking man and woman.
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Author: Laurenzo Jude